When I moved away to college I needed a new job that would be flexible enough so that I was not flunking out of school, yet I made enough money to survive. With my charming personality and dazzling wits I decided to take on the challenge of being a server. You never know what it is like dealing with people until you work in customer service...Since most people will never be servers and get the hands on, down and dirty, nitty gitty experience of the fast paced and excited job, I made some guidelines to give you a heads up so that next time you "wine and dine", everyone can have a more present experience.
WHILE DINING, REMEMBER:
1) Please do not bust out all of your wrinkled coupon cutouts from the Penny Saver and try to use them in one visit to get a free meal. FYI it does not work like that. Come back and have fun all over again!
2) If cannot afford to eat out and leave a decent tip, then DON'T. Standard tip is 15% or higher. "They" usually say "double the tax", but CA's sale tax is at an all time high of 9.75% thanks to the Governator. That Crackberry you're attached to has a calculator and let's hope you passed the 3rd grade... do the math! (Rule may vary depending on how horrible your server is)
3) A server's job is to help you. Everyone in the English speaking world knows the expressions "please" and "thank you" but somehow forget when they are demanding a Diet Coke with no ice!
4) Again, a servers job is to help you, so let them! If there is an issue or mistake with your food that is making your visit absolutely miserable, SPEAK UP CHILD! They will more than likely to be happy to assist you. Please do not blow it up in their face when paying out with a sassy "Well I'm done now..." Many things are easily fixable and do not involve spit or pubic hair.
5) Believe it or not, servers are people too and most of the time have outgoing "Type A" personalities. Joke around and have a good time when the time calls for it. The very least you will get is a courtesy laugh [ha ha ha]. Try it, you may find out something interesting or make someone's day!
6) If you do not feel like paying for a drink, order water with lemon. BUT do not collect all the lemons and the sugar packets in the restaurant to attempt to make a bootleg "homemade" lemonade. That probably cost the establishment more money than just bringing you a regular lemonade... plus that's just straight up ghetto.
7) Try to avoid walking into a restaurant 2 minutes before closing with an incomplete party of feisty teenyboppers. Majority of the time 1/2 the kitchen needs to be re set-up and evening plans that your server was already late for are being canceled. Please be mindful and courteous and just go to In-n-Out or Dennys! That's what they're there for.
8) Try to ask for everything you need at one time. It makes the server's job easier when they make less trips. Be patient and remember, you are not the only table they are dealing with.
9) The term used for party that takes up a table for an extended amount of time is a "camper". If you want to spend time and fellowship with your old high school sweetheart or that Mai Tai has you feeling yourself a little too much, that's fine, but if you are sitting at your table for 4 hours on a Friday night running your mouth about nothing, somebody's dollars are getting tampered with! There are plenty of Starbucks.
10) Get your kids! (Need I say more?)
11) HAVE FUN! Order a round of drinks and enjoy yourself. Servers are there to create a fun environment for you and your company so embrace it! Plus, who doesn't enjoy eating?!
DGFU... Class has begun!
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